Sunday, June 26, 2011

Yikes... I Bumped Into My Ex-Girlfriend!

Managing a post-relationship is a hard process. The way the breakup was handled with the ex, influences the reaction you’ll receive when you see them again. Trust me, you will see your ex again, especially when you least expect it.

Living in Atlanta, you must be ready to meet any number of random people at any given time or situation. This includes the people from your previous relationships. In a sense, for me, the last few weeks were a series of extremes. On one hand, I was reaching out to a woman whom I was interested in, got along well with, only to lose communication with her.. and to be deleted out of her life in a blink of an eye. In every way, romantically or not, I was making trying to interject myself into her life. Because things ended abrubtly and without conversation, I suppose seeing her again wouldn't be awkward or strange. On the other hand, I crossed paths with an ex girlfriend recently, and while things ended amicably, the reaction received was far from that.

Around February it was clear that the idea of a friendship after our breakup, wasn’t going to happen. I had been cut off. After crossing paths with her at a club in Atlanta, the statement was re-enforced. It was a situation where I didn’t realize we were standing at the same bar, until I engaged in a conversation with  a cute girl standing next to her. I had been chatting to the chick for some time. I hadn’t seen her, I just wasn’t looking her way. As I recognized her, she seemed to ignore me, even while looking around the club she avoided looking in my direction. The fact that I was talking to her cute friend wasn’t going to make this situation any easier. It was clear to me that I was going to be ignored.

There is the possibility that she didn’t recognize me, or didn’t see me, or wasn’t aware of my presence, however I doubt that. At some point I was hovering right next to her.

My friends have told me stories of seeing their ex, and being in a better place than they were during the relationship. They felt some sort of vindication, of success. In a way, they were saying “you should have stuck with me.” It’s a situation I’ve yet to experience. While I feel that I’m in a better place, since the relationship has ended, I’ve never had the satisfaction of feeling as if I’ve “won.” I recently told someone, it was a wish of mine to “win” because I’ve been passed over by women so many times.

o, back to my point. You’ve randomly passed by your ex, now what? I wish there was some clear-cut answer, or series of steps that one should do. There isn’t. It all exists in the land of grey, and hinges on how things progressed with your breakup. The only thing that you can do, as a guy, is to respect their feelings towards you, and follow accordingly. If they hate your guts, don’t try to be Facebook friends with them. If you see them on the street, maybe you’re better of saying nothing instead of a “hello.” Respect their feelings (or lack of feelings) for you.

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